


The Greatest Game Ever Conceived By Man

by Tygermama



Category: The Losers
Genre: Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-15
Updated: 2011-01-15
Packaged: 2017-10-14 19:13:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/152524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tygermama/pseuds/Tygermama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jolene and Pooch did think the name was a touch much, but they couldn't argue that it wasn't accurate.</p><p>many thanks to katemonkey and lady_krysis for their help, encouragement and beta reading. I could not have done this without them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Greatest Game Ever Conceived By Man

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theleaveswant](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theleaveswant/gifts).



According to legend, the Greatest Game Ever Conceived By Man was created after another one of Jolene's fantastic dinners.

 

Pooch watched the sink fill and sighed. His fingers throbbed just being close to the hot water, thanks to a hot piece of metal he'd accidentally grabbed in the garage.

 

Pooch shook his head and told himself to man up, it was his turn to do the dishes and Jolene's chicken n dumplin's had been magnificent. Pooch stared at the stack of plates Jensen put down on the counter beside him. Jolene was still sitting at the table, nursing a glass of wine.

 

“What's up, my man? You're making a serious face.” Jensen leaned against the counter, smiling.

 

Pooch had an idea. “Jay. I will drop to my knees and blow you right here if you do the dishes for me.”

 

Pooch watched Jensen's expression turn from surprised to very fake nonchalance as Jensen shrugged and pulled down his zipper. “Sure.”

 

Pooch heard Jolene murmur in pleasure as he lowered himself to his knees, yanking down Jensen's jeans and boxers. He sucked Jensen's hardening cock into his mouth without preamble. Jensen let out an undignified squeak, almost jumping up onto the counter. “Jesus, Pooch! Be gentle! I need that later!”

 

Pooch hummed in amusement and went to town, using every trick he knew to get Jensen off as quickly as possible. He could hear Jolene shift in her chair, moving to get a better view.

 

A few minutes later, Jensen had come, Pooch had gotten off his knees and Jolene had that look on her face that said that as soon as the dishes were done, they were all going to bed.

 

Pooch decided to dry, just to move things along a little faster.

 

** ** **

 

Jolene entered the bathroom and slipped off her robe, hanging it from the hook. She looked around the bathroom and frowned. The tiles needed replacing, the lighting sucked and the showerhead looked like it was about to come flying off at any second. She shook her head. This bathroom had needed renovation since they'd got the house, the three of them needed to stop putting it off.

 

Jolene turned on the taps and waited until the water was the right temperature before switching it over to the shower. The showerhead vibrated for a few seconds before it flew off into the tub with a loud crash, water spraying everywhere.

 

Jolene screamed. She turned the water off as soon as her heart stopped trying to beat out of her chest. Then she threw down some towels to soak up the water and stormed out of the bathroom, not even bothering to grab her robe.

 

She found her boys the living room. Linwood and Jensen were coming to find her, their RC car still in pieces on the floor.

 

“What do I have to do or who do I have to fuck to get the goddamn bathroom fixed?” she yelled, hands on her hips. As the boys looked at her in shock, Jolene was suddenly aware that she was stark naked and dripping wet.

 

The boys were certainly aware of her nudity too. It was cute watching Linwood and Jensen try not to stare at her tits.

 

Jensen raised a shaky hand, “I have some ideas. There's even some diagrams!”

 

Jolene tried not to laugh. She was still pissed off about the showerhead. But she still found herself saying, “Well, go get 'em now! Move!”

 

When Jensen came back, Jolene was impressed. It wasn't just diagrams, it was a Power Point presentation.

 

A very compelling Power Point presentation.

 

It took them a week to fix the bathroom.

 

They ended up spending all the money they saved doing the work themselves on a new bed. After they broke the old one. Jolene never regretted a minute of it.

 

** ** **

 

Jensen hit 'Enter' with an evil grin. After weeks of effort, slaving over Photoshop, carefully inserting his own commands into the FBI servers, establishing feeds to their security cameras, he had finally done it.

 

Jensen pulled over his spare laptop, showing the camera feeds to watch. The effect was immediate. Every printer in Quantico started spitting out pictures of J. Edgar Hoover in a dress. The most of the agents did not seem pleased, although there were a few who were trying not to laugh.

 

“I am so awesome, I can hack anything, anytime, anywhere, no matter what!” Jensen jumped up and brought the laptop over to Pooch and Jolene, so they could see.

 

Pooch and Jolene looked intrigued, “Really? Wanna bet?”

 

Jensen felt a pleasant shiver run down his spine. “What are the stakes?”

 

Pooch grinned his best evil grin. “We'll test you to see what you can hack through.”

 

“We'll be very thorough, I promise,” Jolene said.

 

Jensen felt himself blush all over.

 

Jensen learned that he could, if he needed to, hack through getting fucked hard and fast by Pooch, or agonizingly slow by Jolene. He could hack through receiving a blow job or even while giving one, but his typing speed suffered.

 

Jensen was confident he would win this bet when Jolene said, “There's something I want to try.”

 

So he arranged himself on the couch according to Jolene's instructions, half reclined with his laptop on his chest, his legs spread. Jolene started simply, caressing his thighs and lightly licking his cock and balls. Jensen sighed in appreciation a couple of times but didn't slow his typing.

 

Then Jolene moved lower.

 

Oh shit, was she? Jensen thought.

 

The second Jolene's tongue started to rim him, Jensen knew he was in trouble. Jensen could feel his brain shutting down under the soft, wet pressure of her tongue. He felt his laptop slipping to the ground and didn't care.

 

Jolene got a night at her favorite restaurant.

 

During dessert, Jensen admitted that there are some things you just have to give your full attention. Pooch agreed that Jolene's tongue was one of them.

 

Jolene just smiled and stole the last of the tiramisu.

 

**   **   **

 

It was Sunday morning, the sun was shining, the day was already warm and Jensen was at the kitchen table, writing something on a pad of paper. He'd been at it a while, there were papers scattered all around him.

 

Pooch stumbled into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee, “What're you doing?”

 

“I am creating the outline for what shall be the greatest game ever!” Jensen said, not looking up from his work. He shuffled the papers around until he found the piece he was looking for and thrust it out at Pooch.

 

“Hmm, blow jobs, five points, semi-public sex, ten points... Jay? What is this?” Pooch asked, sitting down across from Jensen. He put his coffee down and rubbed his hand over his face, “I'm not awake enough to do all this.”

 

Jensen laughed softly. “It's a point system, not a request,” Jensen said, smiling, “Like a sex jar, only we all collect points and cash them in for stuff we want. Give a blow job, get five points, getting out of your turn for dishes, lose five points.”

 

Pooch snorted, “Orgasms, priceless?”

 

Jensen laughed again, looking up at Pooch, “Not quite, but close.”

 

Pooch smiled and kept reading the list, leaning into Jolene's touch when she came into the kitchen and ran her hand across Pooch's shoulders as soon as he was in reach. She leaned her chin on Pooch's head and started to read.

 

"Umm..." Jolene said, pointing at the list. "'Non-penetrative sex'? What does that mean?"

 

"No sticking dicks in stuff," Jensen said without looking up. "We need to talk about that one."

 

Pooch snorted again, “'Stuff'? My perfectly formed ass is not 'stuff'.”

 

"Is so stuff!" Jensen looked up at Pooch's words, making big puppy eyes. "Great stuff, the bestest stuff. You know I love your ass."

 

Jolene giggled, “So this non-penetrative sex thing, it's strictly cocks? Or does that mean I can't use my strap-on?”

 

Pooch made a disappointed noise, “Jay, man. We both love Jolene's cock...”

 

Jensen winced, “Well, it's just... Man, I never thought I would say this... Does sex always have to end with sticking a dick in something? I really think we need to discuss the lack of titty-sex we've been having lately. And intercrural and finger-fucking and hand jobs and...”

 

“Awww, baby,” Jolene said, coming around the table and hugging Jensen to her chest, “You miss my tits?” Jensen smiled happily and snuggled up to her.

 

“We always miss your tits, honey,” Pooch said, nodding sadly. “It's been less than ten seconds and I miss them already.”

 

“Seriously, you want more tit sex? You should have said something.” Jolene said, kissing Jensen on the top of the head.

 

Jensen shrugged, “I'm just trying to have some fun, keep things interesting. Not that I'm bored...”

 

“Were you watching porn on the internet again?” Pooch asked, frowning.

 

"No, it was all educational! And I'm trying to be thorough!" Jensen said, his voice muffled by Jolene's bathrobe. He briefly pulled away. "This is going to be the Greatest Game Ever Conceived By Man."

 

Jolene smiled, “So, this no-cock sex rule? How many points?”

 

Jensen pulled away from Jolene, pushed his chair back from the table and pulled her onto his lap. “Well, it depends. Tit or thigh sex, 15 points, since we don't do it that much. Pegging should be it's own category, there's more equipment involved.”

 

“More 'equipment'?” Jolene asked, sounding affronted, “I thought you loved my cock?”

 

“More equipment, as in anything that requires more than our bodies and some lube.” Jensen said, kissing Jolene behind the ear, “And you know I love your cock, Pooch shaved so we could cast it just for you.”

 

Pooch moaned, “That itched like a sonofabitch too.”

 

“I made it up to you, baby,” Jolene reminded him, leering across the table.

 

Pooch wiggled in his seat at the memory, “Hell, yeah you did.”

 

"So..." Jolene said, flipping through the sheets of paper. "How many points do I get if I make Cougar come without touching him again?"

 

Jensen and Pooch laughed. "I say at least one hundred, because that was _epic_ ," Pooch said.

 

"I still can't believe Clay slept through the whole thing. Definitely one hundred," Jensen agreed.

 

Jolene grabbed the pen and started to write. “So, one hundred for making some one come without touching them. How about fifty for sex in the same room as Clay without waking him up?”

 

Pooch grinned. “It's my turn to cook breakfast, right?: He stood up. “And I say twenty five for not waking Clay up - the guy sleeps like a log when he's drunk. It's Cougar who wakes up at every noise. You get three hundred if you can have sex without Cougar waking up.”

 

Jolene kept writing as Jensen pushed her hair to the side and started kissing the back of her neck. “So, how many points for on the table?” she asked.

 

“Hmmm,” Pooch said as he pulled out eggs and cheese from the fridge, “I'd say five or maybe seven. How many for in a helicopter?”

 

Jolene slid off Jensen's lap and onto the chair next to him. Jensen whined and pouted at her, looking at her over the rims of his glasses.

 

“Stop it, I can't concentrate when you do that!” Jolene said, batting at him.

 

Jensen smiled, “Okay, okay. I say in a helicopter should be thirty points, plus ten more if we get caught by MP's.”

 

** ** **

 

Cougar knew something was up as soon as he stepped into the kitchen. Three sets of eyes turned to track his every move, and he knew he was being hunted.

 

The last time he'd seen that look, he'd ended up coming in his own pants, thanks to Jolene's _filthy_ mouth. And she'd never even touched him.

 

Cougar still blushed whenever he thought about it.

 

Pooch threw an arm over Cougar's shoulders, “Hey, Coug! Glad you could make it! We've got this new game to show you.”

 

THE END....FOR NOW

 


End file.
